Let's Hope It's All in My Mind

I'm wondering something.

My right IT band and hip have been bothering me off and on.  I know that it bothered me back in June because I got a sports massage on June 15.  But I don't know how long it has bothered me exactly.  I'm quite bad at keeping details in my training log.

I'm wondering if I did the right thing by not logging the details.

I'm wondering if some of this pain/discomfort is only in my mind.

• I can have runs without any notice of pain or discomfort.  That was today. 
• I can have runs with some pain and discomfort.  That was Sunday.  
• I can have runs in which the twinge appears quickly.  That was Sunday.  It took about two miles to appear. 
• I can have runs in which the twinge takes longer to appear.  That was the SF Half.  It took nearly 8 miles for it to appear.  

I can't figure out its modus operandi.

Right now it feels vaguely achey.  This nebulous vague ache makes me believe that my mind is to blame.  I can't pinpoint where in my right thigh the pain exactly is.  It feels everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

I'll return to work in one week.  With that return, I'll be the new girl for the first time in 11 years. There is a bit of anxiety wrapped up in being the new girl.  I think that anxiety may be manifesting itself with this vague ache.  When I was a little girl, I would have leg aches the day before traveling.  It never failed.

My worry tends to live in my legs.

I'm hoping that with the distraction of work the pain/discomfort will disappear.  I'm rolling and stretching and icing, too!  I have two races coming up:  Big Sur Half Marathon in November and California International Marathon in December.  I want to run better than I did in those same races in 2011.

I need to get healthy.  I need to NOT worry.

Injury: Tackled? Perhaps. I hope so.

How to Tackle Grade 1 Calf Strains*:

First you must be a master at Google search phrases to land on a diagnosis. Patience is key here, but since you need to rest anyway you can rest your injury while embarking on a diagnosis.

Then you have to ice as much as safely possible. Make sure that you have something in between the ice pack and the skin. See photo above where I use the ugliest of soccer socks for this purpose. Failure to put something between the ice and the skin could result in frostnip and ice burn. That is scary to see. You'll think you killed your skin. Literally. (Don't ask me how I know this. ::whistles innocently::)

You should also compress those calves. This is my first foray into compression, and I have to say that I am in LOVE. My husband hit up our lame little Big 5 looking for something for my calves and brought home two McDavid Calf Compression Sleeves. Made of neoprene, this bad boys are TOUGH to get on. Truth be told, I developed a bit of a complex because I sized in at a medium sleeve and it was super tough to get on. I'm a woman; what the hell size does a man wear for crying out loud?!?! Even though I got stuck in the whole pathetic "my-calves-are-huge-too-huge-I'm-not dainty" refrain for a bit, my mind quieted because those things WORK. I work them for three hour stretches at a time, and I could tell a difference.

(Now I must interrupt here, and write a few words about the differences between correlation and causation. They aren't the same. Did the compression cure me? Maybe. Did time cure me? Maybe. Did icing and rest cure me? Maybe. Was it the whole combo? Most likely. But I can't help but look at those compression sleeves with a sense of wonder. Squeezy squeezy helps. I think. I hope. I think I want a pair for running. A purple pair. I can't run in neoprene.)

Look ahead to the future. I can't wear the compression sleeves to work. I can't ice at work. So I thought I would try KT tape (which I purchased in BRIGHT PINK**) on the left calf. The one that hurts more. My right one is nearly back in business. Most right strides I can hardly notice there was a problem, but I still am limping with my left strides.

Using the website's videos, my husband who probably never realized that a vow to be there in sickness and health meant that he would have to learn how to handle injury like a physical therapist, taped my calf last night to help me through the walking that I cannot avoid today. We used a ball point pen to mark on my calf the site of the pain. He taped around it in the way that the video suggested. Tape is still on after a night of sleeping. No rolling at all. We'll see how well it helps today.

I think the pink tape suits me. I hope so. I have to go out in public.

Last. Writing about the injury seems to have helped. Yay, for superstition.

____________

*My own diagnosis. I *do* have a degree in American Literature and Culture for heaven's sake.

**After realizing how large my calves must be, I opted for pink to soften or feminize the calf. Yes.

Dwell

Lululemon Athletica used an Emily Dickinson quote as a status update today.

Dwell in possibility.

Upon reading that I dwelled on the word dwell. I do this often. I enjoy the fact that the word pedantic sounds pedantic. I love the fact that the word hoi polloi sounds foreign and, therefore. out of reach of the hoi polloi. A dwelling is a home; to dwell can mean to inhabit or live in a place. But we most often use it in that sense. We used it to mean to think upon a subject at length--usually something negative. The thinking is so exhaustive that it is akin to living in that thought pattern. Taking residence. In negativity.

I like the idea of taking residence in possibility.

I'm trying to dwell in the possibility that I can train better.

I may be on my way.

This week I logged over 24 miles. My long run was only 7.3 miles. I ran six out of seven days. I also did the INFERNAL ab workout from the Nike Training Club app. (I need a pre-beginner level!)

I realize that 24 miles a week isn't that spectacular, but when I look back over my marathon training, I can only count four weeks in which I logged more miles. One of those weeks was the marathon.

I deserved the time I earned with that training.

Why did I only run (on average) four days a week to train for my marathon? Because I dwelled in fear.

My half-marathon training plan that I am following for the SF 1st Half Marathon calls for six days of running with strength training following short easy runs.

I ran the six days this week and it wasn't what I feared it would be. For nearly four years, I've followed a pattern of resting (or light cross-training) the day before and after a long run. I didn't think that you were allowed to run the day after a long run. Hal Higdon says I can and I should. Even though my long run was only 7.3 miles today, I am looking forward to an easy run tomorrow. I won't have a rest day until Thursday.

I hope that this round of training will amp my mileage up to where it needs to be. I'd like 30 mpw to be my new normal. I love the fact that I have the power to change my normal. I like dwelling in that possibility.

I also like dwelling in a good nap. The sort of nap where you curl around your body's exhaustion satiated with the knowledge that you are repairing the fatigue and the ache. Six days of running after a week of total rest meant a superb nap.

I just now need to dwell on the possibility that I can run in the heat once it arrives. That's a challenge.