02 June 2011

Things My Son Wrote: NRR

End of the school year means an avalanche of papers come home with the child.

It is at times like these when I wished that John Lithgow or Christopher Walken were somehow close, personal family friends who could do a recording of my son's journal in audiobook form.

Reader, I wish that you could read the whole thing from cover to cover. My son's development of his persona is clearly on display in these pages.

Here is a sampling of some of the jewels. I edited the spelling because it was easier to spell it correctly than to accurately type the misspellings.

    My big sister thinks school is a joke but I don't think that because sometimes school is fun and I am just lucky because the first recess we bug the kindergarteners.

      Hello hello finally well hi...I am dead I am just kidding.

        I am a frace (?) caterpillar in the grass awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww just kidding.

          Turkey time in November. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Chop the turkey!!

            Dorky Dora you pick your boogers when you work so you must drink 55 sodas and do not stop until you are done! That is because I am EVIL, EVIL, EVIL! But can I have a donut. NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

              Sick (followed the drawing of a peace sign). Today I saw writing on a pole (followed by a drawing of the pole with writing on it) and it said bad words. Me, Nathan, and Thomas saw the bad words on the pole when we were playing hide and seek.

                Yaaaaaaaaaa I rock!

                  Sick huh huh don't you think.

                    What is |x|=? it equals !. Ya. I know times.

                      It is February. (That constituted the entire entry.)

                        Holy cheese puffs!

                          It was so funny I laughed to death.

                            Today I saw a puddle half of a classroom. I wish I was in a pool right now. Holy tortilla rolls! I stink!

                              I hate school!!! I love Legos!!! There is a big difference you know. Legos are fun and school is boring.

                                Well Diary of a Wimpy Kid Rodrick Rules is in theaters now and I'm stuck in school with a bunch of crazy kids. (Followed by drawing of crazy kids.)

                                  I am a big fat chatterbox.

                                    Today is April Fool's Day. I am the best faker on the block. I am making fake blood. It is so funny anyways I can fake cry, fake barf, and a lot more. I pranked someone today.

                                      I love kickball.

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